


Heavier Heart

by technicolorCarbon



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Alpha Kids - (Mentioned), Angst, Dad Egbert - (mentioned), Sadstuck, The Game, damnit sburb, death of a family member, music reccomendations, windy powers whoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-02
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-12-22 06:01:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/909764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/technicolorCarbon/pseuds/technicolorCarbon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You meet your Bro again, and fail to notice when your <i>bro</i> doesn't meet anyone.</p><p>The Game brought so much disappointment, you weren't aware any of you could feel it anymore. Apparently you were wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heavier Heart

The first time you see John Egbert is also the first time you see the young version of your older brother, and the feelings that wash over you are absolutely _overwhelming_.

(He’s adorable holy shit and god his smile is so huge and his eyes are the most intense shade of blue and you don’t think anyone so happy has ever existed.)

Then you look forwards, instead of to the side, and.

You can feel your pokerface cracking, shattering, dropping off and leaving behind raw emotion, and later you’re almost ashamed at how easy it was to break you, but for now,-

_Bro._

Dirk is hugging you back, and (when did your arms get around him) you can hear Rose’s sharp intake of breath, Jade’s excited squeal, their relative’s reactions as well.

(John doesn’t make any sound beside you.)

When you’ve all recovered, when you’re calm and relaxed again, when the excited butterflies in your stomach have stopped fluttering and flying and leaping and making you tremble, when you’re finally _normal again_ , that’s when you realize you haven’t seen John in a while.

(He’d disappeared when Jane had. Almost two hours ago.)

He’s on the roof with Davesprite when you find him, and you stand back for a minute to give them…

Something. Space. Time to finish talking. You’re not sure, but you know he’s you, and you’d personally kick someone’s ass if they’d busted in on a conversation, important or not.

He (You) turns to you after a second, nods the tiniest bit, just the right amount of acknowledgement, and you feel a brief wave of pitying nausea when you see what a mess you’d become when prototyped with the bird.

(The missing wing and sword in the gut only add to the _oh dear god what am i_ factor.)

John isn’t looking, he’s dangling his legs over the side and tapping his fingers in the air like he’s playing piano, and you can almost hear the notes, hear the song he’s spinning out of nothing.

The wind picks up, and you stand by him, hands in your pockets.

"Sup."

He doesn’t look up, just lets his hands drop into his pockets as the orange you phases through the roof and into the room below.

You don’t know what to say, for once.

(He breaks the silence for you.)

"Your brother, huh? He looks just like you."

His voice is rough, scratchy, like he’s been crying. You feel bad when you can’t imagine why.

"Saw your Nanna down there. She looks pretty cool."

"She’s not Dad."

He says it so harshly, so bluntly, and the pain you catch in his eyes as he looks away again tears at your heart.

(You hadn’t thought the game had left you enough of a heart to tear at.)

You sit next to him. “No. She’s not."

His grip tightens on the roof, and his shoulders hunch, and you have enough time for a selfish plea ( _don’t let him cry please i don’t think i can take that i wouldn’t know what to do_ ) before he speaks again, voice shaking with the effort of reigning in tears. “Why?"

You open your mouth to invent a reply.

(He wasn’t looking for an answer.)

"You all got them back. Jade had her Grandpa, and Rose got her Mom, and you got Bro back, and they all had the same from their sides, but I just want my Dad, Dave, I just want him back, and I can’t- he isn’t…"

It isn’t much talking, but he throws his head back like he’s monologued for hours and chokes out a laugh as tears stream down the side on his face. “Shit."

The sun makes his skin warm, and you note that he’s taken off his glasses.

"I’ll be back later," he mumbles when you don’t reply, still silent, and leans forward, holding his breath as he lets go of the roof and drops.

He catches himself on the wind and soars as you watch.

You’re not sure which one of you has a heavier heart.

—

**Author's Note:**

> Ilya - Guilty Kisses (couldn't tell you why) **  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage &v=93fdS4v-rxA  
> **
> 
> No.9 - Princess **  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage &v=cVhvcPVQxQU**


End file.
